"Tis the season to be jorry..."

It's Christmastime, dear readers:

Don't take up a triple-dog dare

Be sure your star points straight, and always buy your fuses by the gross

Revel in the triumph of your Major Award

Don't be scared of Santa or his jolly elves

Strive for your dreams

Do something different for Christmas, like going out to eat

Don't say the F- - - word and end up with a soap-poisoning disability

Don't break your glasses

Don't EVER let your friends see you like this

Don't shoot your eye out

And be sure to drink your Ovaltine

Happy Holidays.